The List

There's this thing in our town—similar to Craigslist—that allows residents to voice their opinions on local contractors, get rid of stuff they don't need, share recipes, complain about power outages. I've nabbed a number of cool things free or cheap off the list. I like free things. And when I see something free, I have  a tendency to claim it first, think about what to do with it later. So, this week I claimed a universal gym.

This is like the gym we had at the YMCA, or at high school when I was a teenager. It's a big ol' thing, with stations around the center and a stack of plates on a rail up the middle. It's way cool, very professional looking, but it takes up 6' square of floor space, not to mention the room you need to walk around it. And once assembled, it is a permanent installation. There's no moving this thing.

But it was free. So I claimed it.

Saturday, G and I went to get it. A woman named Meriweather met us at the door. I was expecting the woman who placed the ad, a woman named Pat. She wasn't home yet. Meriweather pleasantly showed us where the gym was in the basement. They had a semi-finished basement. We have a two bedroom apartment. I had no idea where I was going to put this thing. But it was free, so...

It took about an hour to dismantle the thing. There was no manual, so I'm not sure how I'm going to reassemble it. My friend, Dave, showed up toward the end to load this monstrosity up in his truck and lug it to my little home. Did I mention that this thing is actually bigger than my first apartment?

As we loaded up the last of it, Dave asked Pat—who had since come home—about a calendar poster on the wall in the semi-finished basement. It was a Ms. Universe in full sash and tiara regailia, in a public service poster about AIDS prevention. The poster was in both English and an alphabet we didn't recognize. We had decided it was Cyrillic. It turns out, the alphabet and the Ms. Universe were Thai and the calendar was in both the Western and Thai calendar years. It was also autographed. Pat got it from Ms. Universe while in Thailand. How cool, huh?

"Would you like it?" offered Pat, as she took it down off the wall, "You can hang it by the gym for inspiration."

Dave is choking, trying not to laugh. I cannot think of any way to nicely explain that I don't find Ms. Universe all that inspirational, nor do I think I can hang an AIDS PSA poster in my bedroom where the gym will most likely end up. I stammer awkwardly.

"Aw, come on," says Dave, "it's free."

So, I think I'm going to hang it in the bathroom, next to my Beach Blanket Bingo poster. What do you think?

Comments

[Dave]

Our brush with semi-celebrity memorabilia was a fun trip. Maybe I should have taken the poster after all...ha ha...I don't think it would work well next the The Beach Blanket Bingo poster, but I'd have to see them side by side...